Comic Sans

Stolen from here: Timothy McSweeney's Internet Tendency

I'm Comic Sans, Asshole.
BY MIKE LACHER

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Listen up. I know the shit you've been saying behind my back. You think I'm stupid. You think I'm immature. You think I'm a malformed, pathetic excuse for a font. Well think again, nerdhole, because I'm Comic Sans, and I'm the best thing to happen to typography since Johannes fucking Gutenberg.

You don't like that your coworker used me on that note about stealing her yogurt from the break room fridge? You don't like that I'm all over your sister-in-law's blog? You don't like that I'm on the sign for that new Thai place? You think I'm pedestrian and tacky? Guess the fuck what, Picasso. We don't all have seventy-three weights of stick-up-my-ass Helvetica sitting on our seventeen-inch MacBook Pros. Sorry the entire world can't all be done in stark Eurotrash Swiss type. Sorry some people like to have fun. Sorry I'm standing in the way of your minimalist Bauhaus-esque fascist snoozefest. Maybe sometime you should take off your black turtleneck, stop compulsively adjusting your Tumblr theme, and lighten the fuck up for once.

People love me. Why? Because I'm fun. I'm the life of the party. I bring levity to any situation. Need to soften the blow of a harsh message about restroom etiquette? SLAM. There I am. Need to spice up the directions to your graduation party? WHAM. There again. Need to convey your fun-loving, approachable nature on your business' website? SMACK. Like daffodils in motherfucking spring.

When people need to kick back, have fun, and party, I will be there, unlike your pathetic fonts. While Gotham is at the science fair, I'm banging the prom queen behind the woodshop. While Avenir is practicing the clarinet, I'm shredding "Reign In Blood" on my double-necked Stratocaster. While Univers is refilling his allergy prescriptions, I'm racing my tricked-out, nitrous-laden Honda Civic against Tokyo gangsters who'll kill me if I don't cross the finish line first. I am a sans serif Superman and my only kryptonite is pretentious buzzkills like you.

It doesn't even matter what you think. You know why, jagoff? Cause I'm famous. I am on every major operating system since Microsoft fucking Bob. I'm in your signs. I'm in your browsers. I'm in your instant messengers. I'm not just a font. I am a force of motherfucking nature and I will not rest until every uptight armchair typographer cock-hat like you is surrounded by my lovable, comic-book inspired, sans-serif badassery.

Enough of this bullshit. I'm gonna go get hammered with Papyrus.

Grapheme Magazine

Grapheme Magazine by ~SyntheticPlatypus on deviantART

Design a Magazine.

Though this one did not take as long as the others, the majority of this one was spent cussing and fitting about because I knew what I wanted to do, but goodness was my computer and programs against me.

I would say that about 80% of the time was spent on things that did not work. Grah. But now I know how to make pictures from text, so I learned! Which I guess is the point of all this.

So, Welcome to the first issue of Grapheme Magazine a magazine dedicated to all things typologically related.

I wanted this cover to be a bit tongue in cheek about typography. So for those of you who do not know the vocab:

Grapheme:is a fundamental unit in a written language.
Ligature: where two or more graphemes are joined as a single glyph
Kerning: refers to adjusting the space between two letters
Bleed:a printing term that refers to printing that goes beyond the edge of the sheet after trimming.
Serif:semi-structural details on the ends of some of the strokes that make up letters and symbols.
Sans-Serif: the opposite of above!
Helvetica: A font. The best font ever, really.

I wanted this to read like a Vogue or Seventeen magazine, where there is bits of innuendo and relationship advice. It was fun coming up with the headlines.

Besides the bits I had trouble with (namely the person) this was fun to stretch a bit back into the graphic design territory and using the computer again. I'm glad I could, the undo button came in handy for this one.

Also normally, I wouldn't have left such a big space to the left of the word Helvetica, but I left that there for shipping stickers if someone was to get a subscription for this magazine.