Sunday, April 11, 2010

Growing Up

So, I'm going to be 25 in a few months.

TWENTY-FIVE.

That is a QUARTER OF A CENTURY.

Holy Crap.

The thought of this is slightly ridiculous. I mean, in my head I am always the same Sara I have always been. A busy geeky girl who likes to art and smile or try to smile even when she starts to panic about everything in life. But this seems different now, or at least slightly different.

Gone is the college Sara who would basically have a nervous breakdown a month.

Gone is the Sara who would buy loads of collectibles, comics, and CRAP.

Gone is the Sara who would make monthly outings to watch anime.

Gone is the Sara who would sit on the couch every night with her laptop while her parents watched TV.

Gone is the Sara that would seek out everything and anything Hello Kitty.

Gone is the Sara that would eat real ice cream every night with peanut butter and chocolate syrup.

Gone is the Sara that used butter. All the time. On everything.

Gone is the Sara that would do NOTHING all of the time.

Gone is the Sara that would always do what her parents wanted.

...

Life is different and so am I. So here is what Sara is now:

Here is the Sara that while she still gets overwhelmed is a helluva lot calmer about things, even when they go to pot.

Here is the Sara that has pared down everything she owns (books, dvds, manga, etc) so she can live a more relaxing and less cluttered life.

Here is the Sara that goes to friends houses and watches movies and have fun in a different geeky way.

Here is the Sara that sits on the couch with her laptop just a couple nights a week and relaxes as she pursues her interests while listening to shows that are interesting.

Here is the Sara that now owns maybe..10 things that have Hello Kitty on them? Everything is is GONE and replaced with things that don't make me feel 7.

Here is the Sara that maybe has coconut milk ice cream once a month and does not snack on 400+ calorie snacks every single night.

Here is the Sara that cooks healthy subbing in rice milk for milk, apple sauce for butter, and balsamic vinegar instead of Ranch on Salad.

Here is the Sara that goes running for 5 miles a few times a week, goes hiking, and has a gym membership that she uses on a nearly daily basis.

Here is the Sara that moved out of her brother's house, that moved into an apartment with a guy 2 months after meeting said guy, didn't get cable t.v., got a dog, joined accounts a third month later with said guy, made several financial and personal decisions, bought a house, got engaged, and got married 3 months later...without being pregnant, pretty much without her parents dictating what she was to do. She did what she thought was right and took a stand and the parents supported that.

I like this Sara, I hope she keeps getting better!

1 comment:

  1. Gone is the college Sara who would basically have a nervous breakdown a month.

    While I liked college Sara a lot, I'm especially fond of this change. Otherwise, you'd have developed at least an ulcer before you were 30 - if not worse.

    Personally, I've reached the conclusion there is no real process of "growing up". Life is a journey, and you learn and mature with each step of the way. I'm still the same "me" I was at 17 or 27, but I'm also totally different. It's an evolutionary process, not a finite one.

    Congratulations on taking some measure of control of your life. I'm happy for you, and happy I got to see it.

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